I am writing a letter for the airlines suggesting they start offering a 'toddler airbus', where we can drop off children under four years old, and they will all be put onto one segregated plane, staffed by Early Childhood Educators who may or may not be heavily medicated. They will play nothing but Dora the Explorer and Scooby Doo cartoons, there will be an unlimited supply of juiceboxes, and a communal corner for 'time outs'. When the plane lands and you need to make your connection, the airline would simply stick your toddler on the back of one of those golf carts, give her a tiara, and tell her she's queen of the cart. Off she would whiz, while you and your older family members can take your time, grab a coffee, and enjoy the fact that no one is doggedly asking you, "But whyyyyyy?" about everything.
In the meantime, it appears that it is my and Alan's duty to get Blueberry safely from plane to plane.
We're starting our trip in Vancouver (the city, not the island--this keeps confusing me), then driving up the coast to Powell River, where we will visit some of Alan's family. After a few days, we will head back to Vancouver, where I will complete my shopping and we will hit some awesome attractions like the Vancouver aquarium. My bestie, MJ, has specifically requested a photo of a Lake Camel (fictional...but I'll try).
We're also borrowing a car from Ford Canada--a Ford Explorer. I'm pretty freakin' excited about this, because my experience with Alan and the rugrats has taught me something about myself: I hate minivans. They are four-wheeled junk-collecting anti-coolness machines. So I'm looking forward to trying out an SUV for the first time, and seeing what it'd be like to transport the minions around in something much cooler. Also, since I've packed all of my house into my suitcases, we're gonna need the cargo space.
Stay tuned and follow the trip. It should be pretty fun to watch from the sidelines: between the presence of two kids, my own anxiety troubles, and a timezone change, this could get 'interesting' real fast. You can track the activity on twitter at my twitter account, and more specifically under hashtag #GirlCraftedBC And of course, there's always the Girl, Crafted Facebook page, and right here on the blog.
Comments encouraged, especially if they are words of encouragement, or information about the actual existence of the Toddler Airbus.
When I traveled with all the kids back to Ottawa, in the airports I would tell them that the little golf carts were patrolling for kids that were whining or too rambunctious... it helped keep them in some semblance of control...
ReplyDeleteThat made me cackle like a super villain.
ReplyDelete