My bathroom is leaking again. You’d have to be a long-time
reader here to know what this means, so for those who aren’t caught up: my G.D.
Mother-frakkin’ bathroom is the bane of my existence and consistently makes me
fantasize about burning down my house.
 |
| The only one who really uses the tub. |
Two and a half years ago, I purchased this house with my
then-husband. There was a leak in the bathroom that was slowly seeping into the
ceiling of the dining room below, so my husband and my dad decided to fix it
themselves. When they went to do that, though, they ended up finding that the
bathroom walls were made of the wrong kind of drywall, and that someone had
stuffed newspaper into the walls instead of insulation. So what was meant to be
a minor plumbing repair turned into a full bathroom reno.
Trouble is, plumbing is a tricky business, and despite their
best amateur efforts, the leaking continued. Months later, when I was single
again and on my own, I hired a contractor and a plumber to fix things, and it really
did seem as if they had.
That is, until my best friend/housemate MJ went to step into
the shower this week, and found her foot sunk deep into the vinyl floor beside
the bathtub.
MJ told me the news in the best way possible: she found the
problem, then immediately called her contractor father, and had a list of steps
and solutions for me. Unfortunately, there was no way to stop the tears of
frustration that came to my eyes. This stupid bathroom felt like a metaphor for
my entire life: repair after repair, and nowhere nearer solid ground. (Quite
literally, as I pushed on the floor and found the subfloor had turned into a
fibrous pudding.)
So it’s good timing that The Home Renovations Show is coming
up here in Ottawa at the EY Centre on Jan 23-25. I’m holding out hope that they’ll have a booth for a
business called something like, “Reliable Rentable Handy-Spouses” there, where
I can hire myself a temporary husband or wife with contractor skills who can
make this bathroom reno the real LAST one I ever do here.
And lucky for me and you, the organizers are sweethearts and
sent me free tickets. If you’d like a pair, I’ve got two to give away. Just
comment on this post with some details about what you’re looking to reno, and I’ll
pick a winner by January 20th. You can also go to this site and use
promo code OHR15PC to get a discount on your own
tickets, if you don’t want to gamble on the free pairs.
Godspeed to you and your
renos. And if you see me at the show, feel free to offer me tequila shots. Or
the loan of your handy-spouse.
