Blog Out Loud 2014: Wrap Up and Thank You

Last night I was one of the bloggers selected to read at Blog Out Loud Ottawa 2014, which was part of the Ottawa Writer's Festival this year. I didn't know before getting there that I was one of a handful selected out of about 60 applicants. I can tell you, that raised the stress level a bit...but was obviously a huge honor.

That's me!

I wanted to write a quick post and say thank you so much to Lynn, who organizes this event every year. This is my second time being selected, and it is such a unique and special opportunity as a blogger, to witness an audience hearing your writing. Blogging can be crazy-making, because you hear back from so few of the readers, and you have absolutely no way of knowing what they thought. It's not like books, where I can measure the enjoyment of my readers by the number of copies sold. So to have that time where a room of a hundred people laughs at all the right spots, and sighs at all the right spots...it's a kind of a magic.

To those that stayed to talk to me, thank you so incredibly much for doing so. The post the jury selected for me to read was The Four Horsemen of the Mental Health Apocalypse. It's a very personal post, and a very dark one--though written with my usual irreverence, of course. I was nervous to share it like that, and as we got closer to the date I was less certain it would resonate with people in the flesh; but apparently it did, because you were so generous and effusive with your praise.

Thank you for coming up to talk to me, and sharing some of your stories about mental health. For the aspiring blogger I met, who told me, "You said everything I wish I could say about depression": thank you. For all the others, thank you too. I came to share a gift of a story with you, and instead I feel like I left with far more in return than I can ever express.

Corben had a bowtie.

Corben thanks you all, as well. He handled the echoes, the chamber music, and the rounds of applause like a champ. Attached to that is a special thank you to Lynn from Dogs In Harmony who has helped my 8 month old furball become a polite young man.

And a deep, heartfelt thank you to my friends who came out. Though I was far across the room standing alone on that stage, it was directly to you guys that I was reading.

And lastly, a thank you to the combat veterans who inspired the Four Horsemen post. In learning about service animals and working with Corben, I have had the distinct honor of getting to meet some of you, and seeing you at your most courageous--not when you're fighting battles with guns against enemies, but when you're fighting battles with nothing but your strength, against inner demons. It was for you that I wrote the post.

Alright, that's enough mushy stuff. As you were.

The Ikea Breastfeeding Debacle: a call for sanity

FEMINISM FERVOR AND THE BATTLE OF THE BOOB

I suppose most of the free world has heard this week about the alleged incident at the Ottawa Ikea location wherein a mom has claimed she was called ‘disgusting’ for breastfeeding in line—by a store manager, she says. According to her statement, Brea Rehder (24) says she was waiting in line to argue a price with a manager when she started breastfeeding; that’s allegedly when the manager told her to head to the bathroom if she was going to do that. Trouble is, Ikea has reviewed the footage for that entire day, tracked Brea’s movementsthrough the store and cash line, and finds no evidence of this incident at all. In fact, while in line they see that Brea didn’t even have her baby with her.

So that’s the start and the end of the story; what’s really troublesome is all the stuff that happens in the middle.

THE BLOW OUT

People took to social media like a plague of locusts and started calling out Ikea for their horrid treatment of a breastfeeding mom. Feminist bloggers took to their keyboards, calling for boycots and protests, swearing they’d toss their EKTORPs and RUTGATs and burn their alan keys at the stake. Mom bloggers* jumped on board too and swore they’d storm Ikea topless wearing nothing but baby bottle nipples as pasties. Giant breasts were graffiti’d onto the vast blue walls of the megastore. Store managers were strapped to the hotdog counter where they were given a million paper cuts with those cheap paper measuring tapes available at the counters.

Okay, I’m exaggerating the protests, but you get the idea. The entire brand was called out and publicly disgraced…for something that doesn’t seem to have happened. Also, for something that MIGHT have been done by ONE staff.

WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

There’s a problem with the internet these days, and it’s social media. Why is that a problem? Because humans aren’t mature enough to understand the power they wield, much like harnessing the atom or inventing Teflon. The reality is that, for millenia, written word was written by someone who knew what they were doing. Getting your words into print was expensive, and you had to carry some credibility in your field before any readers, scribes, or publishers would take you seriously. Social media has allowed everyone to broadcast their thoughts without any sort of vetting process, and this is positive because it reduces the amount of Orwellian censorship that has happened in the past…but it’s dangerous because humans are still wired to believe that everything they read is true.

THE LOUDER, THE MORE HEARD

Adding to the problem is that in social media, the squeakiest wheel gets the grease. So the tens of thousands of people who were skeptical but silent about Brea’s report aren’t heard, but the furious few hundred feminist social media users who raged about the case are heard from continent to continent. Likewise for the mom blogger community, notoriously squeaky as it is and absolutely blindly biased to believe the unconfirmed word of one mom (who also has publicly reported suffering from post-partum psychosis, which could affect her perception of reality. It'd be like asking me to accurately describe the size of a crowd or a spider, given my anxiety troubles).

The damage done to Ikea cannot be undone. Because the inflammatory headlines are so much more likely to hit the top of our search engines, the original story where Brea called out Ikea will continue to circulate for months to come; meanwhile, posts like this one I’m writing will be found somewhere around page 20 on your google search. Many people will never even find out that Brea’s story cannot be verified.

Ikea’s best option at this point is to use the situation to create a big loud goodwill campaign, shouting it out over social media until it’s picked up by Upworthy and other good news sources. About a hundred moms are planning a boob-in at the Ikea today, where they’ll suckle their offspring on the couches in the living room section; Ikea is welcoming them with open arms. Still, the head-shaking truth is, about a hundred moms are about to disrupt their kids’ entire day to go sit in a protest that was spurred on by the complaint of one stranger—a complaint that seems to be entirely untrue.

I shake my head at you, internet mob. Imagine if you put this much outrage into the well-researched, if less-dramatic news stories about toxins in our products, slave labour in third world countries, or factory farm-raised meats. (Ahh, but for some of you, that’d mean giving up your blog sponsors P&G, Joe Fresh, and Maple Leaf. Hm. A rant for another time.)

*Author's note: It's been pointed out that not every mom or mom blogger jumped on board the Ikea hate-wagon; I know this and you know this. Trouble is, the loud angry ones get a lot more shares and that means a lot higher up the google feed, which means more readers read those posts than the balanced ones. For the moms and mom bloggers who used their discretion and temperance in reporting this story, I say thank you and I am really glad you're out there.

Why I (Intentionally) Dropped the Ball on NaBloPoMo

WHY I STOPPED THE NABLOPOMO THING

At the beginning of November, I announced I’d be participating in the NaBloPoMo, which is where bloggers pledge to post on their blog daily for the entire month. I think this a great idea, and a great exercise, and this would be my first year taking a run at it.

I blogged religiously for about the first three weeks…then, if you’d been counting, you’d notice I suddenly stopped keeping up.

This wasn’t laziness, or distraction, or anything else of the sort. I just realized I’d learned some lessons from the exercise that actually made it clear the exercise needed to be stopped.

Everything in moderation—even work

It was somewhere around the end of week two that I started to see a concerning pattern: I’d rush home at the end of the evening’s activities to write out a post; sometimes I’d be feeling frustrated and flustered, while sometimes I was eager and inspired. This is normal, and all part of the experience. But either way, I best like writing at the end of the day, when enough stupid things have happened to fuel my sarcastic humour—or, on other days, I’m tired out enough to be mellow and have a high level of concentration. So here I was, rushing home to write, and I started to miss out on life.

Alan’s kids came for the weekend, and I sat at the computer for the better part of one particular Friday evening, furiously typing away for a specific post. Usually Friday nights are catch-up time, where the family engages in chatter and planning for the weekend ahead. While I was physically present for much of that usual stuff, I wasn’t mentally there at all. Instead of the feeling of accomplishment I’d thought I’d have at the end of the night, I felt like I'd missed out.

There were several evenings when Alan and I would come home from an activity, and instead of ending the night off with a good cuddle, I sat in bed with my laptop ‘til midnight.

I tried writing during the day instead, and found that I was missing out on time-sensitive tasks, as there are so many things in this world that require regular business hours. Other projects started getting delayed—projects that affected my happiness, my profitability, or my productivity. I think, especially for those of us who make our living from home, or online at all really, you can overdo the whole 'sit at a keyboard' thing if you aren't careful, no matter how positive your intentions were to start.

Life doesn't wait for you to document it.

I’m not saying that daily writing/blogging is a bad thing at all. But I’m reminded of a quote:

"Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time."

I think that rings really true for me. Here, let me show you a picture of my day planner on just a random week (and yes, I still use a PAPER planner…I have a system!)

This is a casual week, light on workload, summer months. You
get the idea. (Mustaches are for privacy. And cuteness.)

I hate being bored, you see, so I’m always doing something. I try not to have it be busy-body work, but rather, I try to check as many boxes off of life in a day as I can. I haven't sat still for an entire movie in over a decade. I’m sure some people would say my pace is unrealistic or unhealthy, but it’s a pace I’m generally very happy with. I like to go to bed tired.

Busy and productive are different animals.

But I don’t like busy-body work, and the reality was that (mandatory) blogging daily felt like busy-body work. I don’t mind the idea of writing something and saving it on my computer everyday; but to write something for public consumption every single day is just something I’m not always up for. 

Quality content makes for contentment.

I’ve been blogging for years—I had a blog before they were called blogs—and I know what makes good content: quality, not quantity. (Though brevity is another matter entirely.) We’re all so eager to create content these days that we seem to have forgotten the idea that, unless you have something to say, silence is a viable option. Sometimes I like to give the air a break, and instead of pumping out half-conceptualized chatter, I like to shut up and wait for something truly geniune and powerful to say.

So I stopped participating in NaBloPoMo this year—by choice, not by mistake or poor work habits. Will I participate again next year? Absolutely, and I’m going to continue making time everyday to write, which was a good thing for me to get into. What I won’t do is burden you all with posts that were written with a sour heart while I miss out on family time…or posts that are poorly constructed…or posts that are written with a fake smile as I’m dealing with one of life’s hiccups (one of the rare ones I don’t feel I can share with you all, though I do know how much we all enjoy laughing at my follies).

I will speak when I have something to say; the rest of the time, I’ll be living in the present moment, making mental notes, and preparing for the next great piece of prose to be delivered to my readers, who deserve my best work.

Our Muffin Top is HUGE, and we thank you.

Remember the Muffin Top movie I've been helping to promote?

Tonight, we reached and exceeded our goal of $75,000 raised on Kickstarter. Thanks to you awesome people, we've got enough funds to take this movie to select theatres across the continent, as it is also distributed electronically by 'on demand' services, iTunes, etc.

I have been proud to be a part of this project, but also terrified, panicked, and desperate. The thing about Kickstarter is, if you don't reach your goal, you lose every penny. It's been a nailbiter, but with two days to go, we've blasted past $75,000. Which is good, because one single bounced credit card can drop you below your goal, and then you lose by default. See how much FUN this has all been?

Except it has been fun. It's been a wonderful rollercoaster where I've been working remotely with some of the coolest, most passionate people in Hollywood; I've burned through two laptops keeping up with this campaign; I've gotten praised for my hard work by a (couple of) bestselling authors; I've witnessed the soulful mourning of our director when we lost one of our stars, Marcia Wallace, a week into the project. This has been a wild ride.

I love how much this project has spoken to people about the importance of taking pride in oneself as a woman, and being yourself. I've seen fans do crazy things with us, like mutually post pictures of their muffin tops and double chins on Facebook, and do so proudly. (My own love handles are up there somewhere.) I've witnessed what I hope is truly the start of a movement of female self-empowerment.

I sound like a bad Oscar speech right now; it's late, and it's been 28 days of insanity and my brain isn't working so good. I think I'll wrap up by sharing a link to a freakin' fabulous documentary I just discovered; it feels like yet another piece in this 'love thyself, grrl!' puzzle. Enjoy your evening. And feel free to keep donating; there's still time and we'll just do more cool stuff with the movie.

Muffin Top Shakes Corporate Hollywood (kinda)...

This post is short. It's really just a brag.

Did you see this video about the Muffin Top movie kickstarter campaign? (I blogged about Muffin Top here, and you should totally catch up if you don't know what I'm talking about...)



I made that video for the campaign! Well, me and a fella I hired, obviously. I still have more hair than that, though I do regularly pull mine out. Point is, I'm really proud of it because it's making people laugh and share and donate. And that makes me feel awesome. Oh yeah, and W Bruce Cameron AND Cathryn Michon (best-selling authors and producers of the film) called me awesome. There's a lot of awesome happening.

The Muffin Top Kickstarter is going so well, with over $35,000 raised...but here's the catch. We're halfway through, and about 50% funded, and if we don't reach our goal, the Kickstarter rules state that all the money is lost: all $35,000+ goes back to the donors. So then we literally have NO money to take the Muffin Top movie on the road.

So help out, will ya? Spread the word (here's a helpful 'how to'), and maybe even donate. Even $5.00 helps, because the more pledges we have, the more Kickstarter sees us as popular, and the more they promote us to their regulars.

You're gonna love the movie, folks. Here's the trailer again, just in case you missed it:

Love Our Muffin Top: bringing chicks back to flicks!

Go to the Kickstarter page here.

This post is about a really incredible chick flick that's coming out called Muffin Top. And this little indie-film-that-could needs your support via their Kickstarter campaign to get out in the theatres. But let me give you the back story after I talk about the movie. (It's a good story.)

WHAT'S THIS 'MUFFIN TOP'?

So long story short, I started helping out with a movie called Muffin Top, directed by one of my favourite female authors. 

I started out helping Cathryn Michon because I love Cathryn, and I'd wholly support any project this woman comes up with. But then I got to watch an advance screening of the film, and I actually fell in love with the film itself. Muffin Top is a rom-com about a woman whose husband walks out, leaving her bloated and hormonal from the fertility treatments she'd been taking. Cathryn stars in the film and is absolutely hilarious; her scene on the surgical table where she's high and harassing the doctor literally had me in tears. And there's a nice...visual specimen...named Michael Hawley who added a pleasing aspect to the film. 

Head to the Kickstarter here.

But if you're a big-name chaser, you can also enjoy appearances by Diedrich Bader, Haylie Duff, Melissa Peterman, Gary Anthony Williams, and David Arquette.

What's really cool about this film, though, is the female power contingent. Cathryn has a dream of bringing 'chicks back to flicks', as the box office is saturated with testosterone-fueled big-budget action movies with buff men in the lead roles, and waifish bondage-gear-clad women in the background. So the Muffin Top movie actually has a record-breaking number of women working behind the camera, in front of the camera, and even on the soundtrack; in fact, this is the first all-female soundtrack ever. Insane, right?

So I'm excited to be a part of this project. And I'd like to invite you all to contribute to the Kickstarter campaign. These funds will support Cathryn and her team in distributing the film via a theatre tour, while those of us unlucky enough to be in a city without a showing will be able to watch it on our local 'on demand' movie services.

Follow on Twitter here.

This is more than a movie, people: it's a movement. Muffin Top is giving the power to the people, to let us decide our own entertainment fate. Together we can help send a message to Hollywood: bring women back into the film industry at every level! Give us good movies, and relateable female characters! And YES, a female cast can carry a movie!

Whether you're familiar with Cathryn Michon's books or not, I invite you to fall in love with her (all over again) in Muffin Top. Help spread the word, donate if you can, and get ready to watch a really sweet, smart film. 

HOW I MET CATHRYN:

Many years ago, I was at the bookstore looking for something funny to read. I happened to pick up this little green-and-pink covered book called The Grrl Genius Guide to Life, by one Cathryn Michon. I read the book cover to cover; then I read it again. And again. And again.

That little book actually changed my life. It was funny, but it also had pearls of wisdom in it. Cathryn Michon had managed to write this little book about how to be a happier, more self-accepting woman. I started giving copies out to friends, to counselling clients, to anyone who needed it. The Guide to Life singlehandedly helped me embrace the idea that I can be girly (grrly) and still achieve greatness. It was a good purchase.

A few months back, I went to grab my copy for a reread, and realized I had given away my last copy. Saddened, I sent a simple tweet out to the universe, sharing my pain.

And a strange thing happened: Cathryn Michon tweeted back.

Follow Muffin Top on Facebook here.

She said she'd send me another copy. Sure, I thought; surrrre, the actual bestselling Cathryn Michon is offering to send me a book. Har har. This twitter account had a typical headshot of Cathryn, and about 70 followers. There was no way this was the real Cathryn.

But then we got talking, and sure enough, the book arrived. Also, Cathryn asked for some pointers on how to be a bigger genius on twitter. We skyped and I gave her my best tips. Then I basically walked around on a high for several days: one of my all-time favourite authors had called me.

A few months later, I checked in with Cathryn and she told me she was ready to go live with a film she'd directed—a film called MuffinTop. She asked if I'd help with the social media and I said of course. And here we are, on the verge of a film revolution. Join us, won't you?

Time off means more hotpants: my career reboot

Last week I got laid off. Or ‘restructured’, really. Basically, a workplace is sometimes a game of musical chairs, and when the music stops, there’s suddenly fewer chairs and too many people. It’s a normal part of the work experience of this generation. But it still sucks.

I packed up my unicorns, spare pairs of shoes, and three dozen post-it notes where I’ve written down interesting social media sites to explore. I threw everything in a box, went home, and eventually, went to bed.

The next morning I woke up with my regular alarm, because I’ve learned from past experience that when you’re off work, maintaining a normal routine is paramount. But I couldn’t pull myself out of bed. I lay there, hitting snooze, for almost an hour. Eventually my pug Mr Darcy climbed up on the bed—something that’s against house rules—and I didn’t stop him. It was my pity party, and I could invite whoever I wanted. So come on up, dog; sink into the sticky darkness of my angst. Mr Darcy belly-crawled up the bed ‘til he was right beside my face, did the typical doggy 360-spin in a circle, put his butt directly in my face, and farted loudly. With his resonating fraaaaap sound and face-melting stench, he’d clearly stated it was time to get up and put my big girl pants on. And open a window.

So far, I’m mostly glad I’ve had the time off. I’ve been catching up on a thousand tasks that I actually think would never have been completed without the extra time. This is why vacations should be taken in four-week increments: two weeks to catch up on life, and then two weeks to really rest.

I’m re-evaluating what I do with my career time. I am taking time to make new goals and consider options. I've got lots of irons in the fire, but I'm taking some time to decide what I'm doing. Consequently, I am alone a lot, so I’m also getting more eccentric by the hour. Yesterday I did the gardening wearing my sparkly green lycra roller derby short-shorts and a pilon-orange tank top, because who’s really around midday? (Turns out, lots of people are.) Last night I cleaned my room and folded laundry naked, because I couldn’t be bothered to find my pyjamas and again, living singly, no one is around for whom I’d need to suck in my gut or lower the lighting. Of course, the hot weather of June has resulted in a major fly problem in the house, so I ended up chasing a giant one around my room, attempting to smack it down with a magazine while it repeatedly—I kid you not—tried to dive-bomb my…lady garden. And then, because no one’s around to talk me down, I obsessed on the fact that I’m old and laid off, and flies are literally circling my reproductive organs.

I could literally end up in another country, without my GPS.

My salvation this week has been a new iPad. I had one at work, and she became my right-hand lady; so much so, in fact, that the day I was let go, I left work and parked to call my mom, got in the car to head to Alan’s place, and realized that I didn’t know how to get there because I always use Siri. I have shed more tears over the loss of my iPad than the loss of my actual job. So on Monday when Alan showed up with one, purchased with some of those airplane points, I was entirely unable to express the depth of my gratitude. Alan was indeed being sweet, but also pragmatic: if you’re going to invest all this time building a long-term relationship, there’s no point in losing the relationship when your girlfriend ends up accidentally driving to Missouri instead of Bank Street. Smart man.

So, armed with my usual freelance work, the dubious support of my dog, an iPad, and my sweet loved ones, I’m coping quite well and I’m frankly ready for something new in my field anyway. I’ll just have to be sure to switch out of the lycra hotpants before any interviews.

The Non-Mom Blogger Blues, part I: the women's network quandry

I have agonized over this post for some time now, and I’m finally hitting publish…with a few notes first:

1. This is the first in a series of posts and you can headover here to see what I’ll be covering.

2. I’m using the term ‘mom blogger’ because it’s an industry-recognized term, typically referring to parents, primarily female, who blog about parenting in a variety of ways. I recognize, and am starting to meet, bloggers who fit into the ‘mom blogger’ parameters but not the widely-recognized characteristics and behaviours. In short: if you are a mom blogger and you don’t feel like these posts represent you, that’s totally okay. I know you’re out there. We just don’t hear from you as often. Feel free to email me about your experiences. 

3. Which brings me to my final note: if you want to share feedback, comment below or email me. This post series is in no way meant to be a definitive examination of the issue; it’s one woman’s experience. As such, please also respect that this has been my very poignant reality for the last three years of blogging.

Okay, here we go...

Today I got really good and mad, and it was about mom blogging.

Recently I started making a greater effort to follow more blog-related networks, particularly those that I felt related to me. This meant that I joined a variety of facebook pages promoting conferences, networks, and groups for women in the social media field. I’m female, and I blog, and I work in social media professionally as well, so this all made sense.

Then the posts started coming through my Facebook newsfeed, and I found them kinda useless. I skipped over most of them, skip skip skip, for a couple weeks. Then today, it clicked what was annoying me about these posts: they were all about being a mom.

 I’ve put a sample of screenshots through this post for you to see. These were within the first three scrolls of my mouse. It looked like about 80% of the content on one page, in particular, was all parenting/kid/mom related links. Now, it’s going to look like I’m picking on just one page here, but I’m using them more as a case study, not something to burn in effigy. I promise.

Okay, so here’s my rant.

I started following this page for advice. I am looking to grow my blog. I was not looking to read about the orange dye in Kraft Dinner or the best ways to deal with tantrums—not that I’m not interested in these things, but that wasn’t why I came here. I recently joined a number of facebook pages specifically on parenting matters because of the induction into my life of two mini-humans (my partner’s two kids); but as valuable as these posts may be, they are not the reason I’m on a facebook page promoting a:

“…community hub…[their actual website] is the Web's number-one guide to blogs by women. Every blogger is invited to list her blog and share her latest words, pictures, video and opinions. As of May 16, 2009, more than 51,000 members have listed over 22,000 blogs by women, organized by topic. Every day, our 60+ editors write daily guides to the hottest blogging by women in 20+ popular topics, from politics, news and technology, to food, health and family.”

More examples.

So why are 8 out of 10 posts about kids? What is the message that this sends—to other bloggers, to blog readers, to men and women—about female bloggers? Because I can tell you what I’m hearing said between the lines of their last twenty-ish posts on their page:

“Women bloggers blog about kids. Period.”

“Women would rather be stay-at-home moms.”

“Even though you run some sort of social media career, you should take time out of your workday to read about the yellow dye in Kraft Dinner.”

“Your career and/or interests must be kid-centric at all times.”

"If you're on this network, we assume you're a mom; and if you're a mom, all you must want to read about is mom stuff."

I’m aghast that a network of 55,000 members leads to this page posting such an overwhelming amount of content about kids, kids, kids. Okay, not every post that goes up can be about publishing, blogging, and tech troubles, I guess…but is there nothing else that might be of interest to women? Why not post about healthy feminine hygiene products? Maybe a few links about recent strides in women’s rights overseas? Orgasms? Carpal tunnel? Birth control? Copyright issues? Or maybe intelligent books and post-secondary courses?

This, in my eyes, is a huge part of why the social media world looks at a group of women in a social media discussion and says, “Oh. Mom bloggers.” How many ‘soft focus’ posts about parenting do you see on a male dominated networking group—or, for that matter, posts on shaving, erectile dysfunction, or BBQ’s? It seems like the boys have learned to separate their familial structure and personal life from their work, and that doesn’t seem so complicated. It certainly lends credibility to why I want access to these pages while I’m at work.

Okay, now before you freak out: I’m not saying your cultural/societal role doesn’t play a factor in your blogging. Of course it does. But when a group posts itself under the ‘media/news/publishing’ section of Facebook’s pages, I figure they’re there to talk about…media, news, and publishing issues.

So here’s the rub: because I’m not kid-crazy, I’m having trouble finding my place out there. I don’t fit in with the people who apparently think about kids 80% of their professional time; and yet, as a burgeoning step-parent, I don’t quite belong with the kid-free crowd anymore. Since I’m not interested in eschewing the children altogether, and I want to be where the big blog action is happening, I end up turning to these mom-centric networks and conferences. But when I get there, I end up having motherhood beaten into my skull. Because not only am I disinterested, but when I do read it, I leave off feeling inadequate. I mean, why haven’t I ever worried about what Max will think when I’m not a stay-at-home-mom? Why, at 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon, wasn’t I planning some sort of adorable vegetable snack shaped like a Fraggle? Well, clearly I’m unfit as a guardian, then. Because while on social media for my workday, I was looking only to read about, you know…work.

Understand; there’s already a lot of pressure on women to be kid-crazy. I don’t know if I need more of it coming from my professional peer group.

And next, I reverse the finger-wagging...

Now, to point my finger back at myself, and those of us who aren’t mom bloggers: make your voice heard. Instead of walking away from a potentially valuable network, make your presence known and make your desire for relevant content heard.

And pointing a finger at PR agencies and big brands: you aren't helping the problem by chasing parent bloggers around like needy puppies, then marketing only the most obvious products to them. Bloggers want sponsorships (fair enough) but if they want to catch your eye, it seems the best way to do so is to capitalize on our familial structure...I don't like that. But I'll rant on about that in a subsequent post.

My point here is, let’s have a women’s social media network that’s genuinely on topic. Let’s do battle with the forces of monetization, publishing, writer’s block, and glass ceilings…and let’s leave the kids out of it.

Feel free to respond. Part II will come soon.

DO STUFF: Guest Post on Wellman Wilson

I wrote a new guest post on the Wellman Wilson Consulting blog, The Media Mesh! Check it out. It's called The Care and Feeding of Your Social Media Staffer.

GIRL, CRAFTED isn't just about literal crafting; it's about a girl (me) crafting herself...finding social media as my career path has been a huge part of that crafting. I love it and I love when I get to write about it. So go read, and maybe learn something about how to handle your own social media staff!

Oh, and if you flip back through some of my other guest posts, you'll enjoy those, too. There was a very special photo shoot I did for one in particular...search their blog for 'choosing your ensemble' for the full story.