Wednesday 20 March 2013

The Dark Pony Empire: away in a manger...

I can't quite recall when I became known as the girl with the thing for unicorns.

But I do I remember the first unicorn gift; it came from Alan and it was a drawing of a My Little Pony unicorn turned into a superhero. Which is awesome, because it reminded me of how much I love My Little Pony. (Except they're kinda skinny and anime-looking now, and they've made them sorta more violent so that boys can feel okay about collecting them. Which is a rant for another day.)

Anyway, however it began, my reputation for pony/unicorn fanatacism continues, amplified by the fact that Tokidoki came out with a line of them called Unicornos and I fell in love. I was looking for a substitute addiction after deciding that my Hello Kitty obsession had outlived its appropriateness. This was decided after having dinner with a group of adult Korean exchange students who belly-laughed at me when I tried to explain that Hello Kitty is also for grown-ups in Canada. 

ANYWAY, I started out with one Unicorno. Then Alan got me another. Then, in a moment of awesomeness, he got me a My Little Pony unicorn *custom made* to be my spirit pony. She has purple and green hair, a star (my favourite thing), and roller skates (my other favourite thing). Her name is a secret; she is only referred to, reverently, as the Dark Queen. The Dark Queen came to reside on my desk, along with my Adios plushie, my Unicornos, and some other creatures that adopted me. So the the Dark Queen came to rule the land of Jordan's Desk, with a fair but firm iron fist. Er, hoof. 

The Dark Queen. I found a background to photograph her on.

Last week, series 2 of the Unicornos came out. I am actively, furtively searching for a few specific ones, but Tokidoki packages them to be a surprise when you open them, so this could become an expensive search. Anyway, the one I bought turned out to be a military one. Which was perfect because how else could the Dark Queen maintain her despotic rule of the Desklands without a military to enforce her dark laws? We're practically building a cutesy version of the Sith Empire. 

I wasn't sure you'd all have the imagination to understand exactly what was happening here, so I took pains to illustrate with some helpful speech bubbles. I kinda love that the Dark Queen has a devil horse as her advisor. The pretty one is obviously her concubine, though she's macking on the military dude.

So then today, Alan shows up and he's got a present for me. Alan is very good at remembering things, and I'm helpful too because I have a goldfish memory and retell my stories a lot of the time; regardless, Alan is aware that my true love and obsession is dragons. If I could get one wish (aside from the usual pat answers and Miss America altruisms that I would undoubtedly put first), it would be to own a dragon. This has been my wish since I was twelve. Alan remembered that I wanted one, so he's done his best to make it happen by presenting me with a dragon egg.

I realize that I'm 31 years old and should probably try to look less insane by saying how this was a nice gesture and what a pretty rock this is. But Deskland makes me happy and gives my imagination something to do. So I will tell you what I really thought as I held that egg in my hands: I'm going to make this sucker hatch.

I went back to my desk, reworked the Dark Queen's podium to become a dragon cave, and tucked the egg into a bunch of shredded paper where it can happily incubate and one day, hopefully provide my Dark Queen with a dragon to do her bidding. I rearranged the kingdom's subjects around the egg to watch in awe, and then I realized I'd inadvertently created a very twisted sort of nativity scene, complete with an angel on top. Huh.

This is how legends are born, my friends.

Also, Alan makes life better. And so do ponies. And dragons. And the occasional T-Rex, but that's a story for another time.

1 comment:

  1. Those Unicornos are amazing!I think they are getting added to my list of things to collect :)


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