I found this old post and wanted to share it.
Remember when Facebook had ‘notes’, which I think was their attempt to get
people blogging right on Facebook? Well, that’s where I wrote a few things
before I ever got a blog. Anyway, I found this ‘note’ about MJ’s niece and
nephew visiting back when MJ and I were still dating, and I thought two things:
1. “This is so cute”, and 2. “My inability to comprehend mini-humans has always
been the same.”
Enjoy.
THE NIECE AND NEPHEW VISIT
Lance is six years old; Kate is four. I had the
pleasure of spending time with them this weekend.
Kate seems to speak only in non-sequiturs; I find this highly entertaining and think I may adopt the behaviour, myself.
Some of Kate's commentary included:
"Mom and Dad? They mop a lot."
"My mom wanted a red car, not a minivan."
"Grannie can't eat wheat."
"I want to climb up on the roof and destroy the house!"
"Lance is a hotdog monster."
When the sun went down, the kids wanted to go outside. I stood in the little pool of brightness from the flood light above the garage and tried to coax Kate to join me. She whispered that she would be right back, she was going to get the ghost and it was my job to keep the bullies away. Here I'd figured that the ghosts might be what she'd feared in the dark--but no, she was worried the bullies would beat up the ghost.
When I picked her up and carried her into the dark to see the stars, I suggested she make a wish. She thought about it for a moment, and I asked her what she might wish for. She stated simply, "I wish for a doll with a head attached to its arm."
When I carried Lance away from the house lights to see the stars, I reassured him that nothing would eat us because I was secretly a Jedi. Lance informed me that he was more than a secret Jedi. I congratulated him. I asked him what he might wish for, and he stated he couldn't tell me, but that he knew that wishes for toys didn't come true, but wishes for things like best friends did.
As we stood on the lawn and the kids showed me how fast they could run, Lance pointed to a small rainbow flag planted in the garden bed and asked what it was for. I said it was a pride flag. Lance asked what a pride flag was. Unsure of how to proceed with someone else's child, yet unwilling to lie to a six year-old boy about such an important topic, I asked him if he noticed that some boys love girls, and some girls love boys; he said he knew that. I said, well, some girls love girls, and some boys love boys. He thought about this, his brow wrinkled as he processed. Wanting to give him a tangible example, I said, "That's what MJ and I are...that flag is our flag." He continued to look confused, so I said, "MJ and I live together, see?" Lance stared at me, clearly trying to work the concept through. Desperate for another example, I said, "It's like Ernie and Bert. We live together like Ernie and Bert." Lance wrinkled his nose, tilted his head, and said, "Well I don't see how that works for Elmo." I said, "Maybe that wasn't such a good example." Lance said, "Nope."
Kate also informed me that she would be taking karate. I fear for her brother, classmates, and anyone else who is not impervious to viscious kicks from a combat-trained midget. It should be an exciting visit next time 'round.
Kate seems to speak only in non-sequiturs; I find this highly entertaining and think I may adopt the behaviour, myself.
Some of Kate's commentary included:
"Mom and Dad? They mop a lot."
"My mom wanted a red car, not a minivan."
"Grannie can't eat wheat."
"I want to climb up on the roof and destroy the house!"
"Lance is a hotdog monster."
When the sun went down, the kids wanted to go outside. I stood in the little pool of brightness from the flood light above the garage and tried to coax Kate to join me. She whispered that she would be right back, she was going to get the ghost and it was my job to keep the bullies away. Here I'd figured that the ghosts might be what she'd feared in the dark--but no, she was worried the bullies would beat up the ghost.
When I picked her up and carried her into the dark to see the stars, I suggested she make a wish. She thought about it for a moment, and I asked her what she might wish for. She stated simply, "I wish for a doll with a head attached to its arm."
When I carried Lance away from the house lights to see the stars, I reassured him that nothing would eat us because I was secretly a Jedi. Lance informed me that he was more than a secret Jedi. I congratulated him. I asked him what he might wish for, and he stated he couldn't tell me, but that he knew that wishes for toys didn't come true, but wishes for things like best friends did.
As we stood on the lawn and the kids showed me how fast they could run, Lance pointed to a small rainbow flag planted in the garden bed and asked what it was for. I said it was a pride flag. Lance asked what a pride flag was. Unsure of how to proceed with someone else's child, yet unwilling to lie to a six year-old boy about such an important topic, I asked him if he noticed that some boys love girls, and some girls love boys; he said he knew that. I said, well, some girls love girls, and some boys love boys. He thought about this, his brow wrinkled as he processed. Wanting to give him a tangible example, I said, "That's what MJ and I are...that flag is our flag." He continued to look confused, so I said, "MJ and I live together, see?" Lance stared at me, clearly trying to work the concept through. Desperate for another example, I said, "It's like Ernie and Bert. We live together like Ernie and Bert." Lance wrinkled his nose, tilted his head, and said, "Well I don't see how that works for Elmo." I said, "Maybe that wasn't such a good example." Lance said, "Nope."
Kate also informed me that she would be taking karate. I fear for her brother, classmates, and anyone else who is not impervious to viscious kicks from a combat-trained midget. It should be an exciting visit next time 'round.
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