Do you think it's possible to hit a point where so many things are happening, fluctuating, changing in your world that you just hit your max capacity and suddenly no longer care about anything? Please tell me you believe this is possible, because otherwise something is really wrong with me.
An inspector came by today and told me that he has concerns about the contractors my condo group has hired to do repair work to my foundation. I made a 'hmmmm' sound, weighed the situation, realized I would never convince the condo group to find someone new, and just...let it go. If the guy fracks it up, they'll have to hire someone else. What am I going to do, run around out back and question them on the depth of their digging or the strength of their cement? I literally have no idea what I could do, other than demand another contractor and potentially just have the exact same issue. So I let it go.
Tonight Corben meets the chief assessor for his service dog training. Corben is going through a stage where he thinks every dog around him is a plaything. This means he is likely going to try to wrestle with the assessor's own service dog. I warned him, and then I just stopped worrying about it. He's a nine month old puppy that's only about half-way through his training. The assessor knows this. What can I possibly do, short of drugging my dog or spraying the assessor's dog with vinegar (Corben's most hated thing on earth)? So I let it go.
Today Alan comes back to the house to get the last of his stuff. My house is in chaos because of this. I thought about running around and trying to spot-clean the place in between the boxes, knowing full well that anything I clean up right now will get dirtied again by the moving process. What magical powers am I supposed to have where having half the house's contents moved out was going to happen without the house looking like a bomb went off? So I let it go.
Instead I am sitting in the organized chaos of my dining room-turned-office and working quietly while listening to 80s rock music. I figure, between my dog chasing the cat, my foundation being dug up around me, and my home stuffed with boxes, I probably look like that quartet in Titanic that just kept playing til the ship sank.
But I've learned over the last couple years that sometimes my most helpful motto is, Let Go and Let Goddess. Take your hands off the wheel, people. Smile and stand back from the chaos. Watch it unfold. And wait...wait til the right moment presents itself for your intervention. You'll know it when you see it. Until then, get a cup of tea, do some yoga, and turn on the 80s rock. It's permissible to be overwhelmed and to admit some things are outside your control. Let go.
Back to work for me. I'll tell you how it all comes together. Because it will. It always does.