Thursday, 4 July 2013

The Creepy Eye Catastrophe

Here’s a fun exercise: read through this and identify the exact moment where things went wrong.

Jordan and Alan lay in bed in an 1800s mansion-turned-inn. Rain falls loudly on the tin roof, deepening the darkness of the midnight sky. As usual, Jordan can’t fall asleep, and tries to make conversation with Alan to help put her out. Alan, half asleep, attempts to keep up with the chatter.

JORDAN: What a nice room, eh?

ALAN: Mmmhmm.

JORDAN: Yyyyeah. Yep. I like that the art isn’t the usual art you find in these places. What do you think of the art?

ALAN: [groggily] Well, I’m not too sure about that big painting over the fireplace.


ALAN: ‘Cuz I keep thinking it looks like a giant eye staring at me, watching me wherever I—

JORDAN: Nope. NOPE! Nope nope nope. Why would you say that?! Well, so much for sleeping! You just suggested that there's some sort of haunted eye living in that painting on the wall in an old scary mansion in the rain at midnight!

Jordan gets out of bed, trying to figure out what to do about the now all-too-obvious eye. Jordan barks direction at Alan, who proceeds to stack a pillow in front of the eye.

ALAN: There.

JORDAN: Nnnnno. It’s not covering the whole eye.


JORDAN: The eye is now peeking over the pillow, spying on me.

ALAN: Ahahahaha…yeah, it is!

JORDAN: This isn’t funny, Alan! Did you want to sleep tonight? Nevermind my sleep, didn’t you want to sleep?! Now you’re going to be up all night reassuring me that the eye isn’t coming to get me.

ALAN: Okay okay okay. I’ll fix this.

Alan stacks a newspaper on top of the pillow, covering the eye.

ALAN: Better?

JORDAN: Yes, except I have to pee now. Wait here.

Jordan returns to the bedroom, climbs into bed beside Alan, and nestles down for sleep. Alan wears a smirk, which makes Jordan suspicious. She turns over in bed and finds the eye has become mysteriously exposed again. Alan snickers as she curses.

JORDAN: You really don’t want to sleep tonight.

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